Thursday, February 8, 2007

For ladies only. (Trust me.)

When you have reached age 3o, after having roughly two decades of periods, tampons, pap smears and breast exams, woudn't you think you are pretty darned well-versed in the department of all things womanly?

I thought so. And then I was perusing one of my favorite blogs (mightygirl) and I followed her link to something called The Ticker Factory. Now, Mighty is pregnant, and her post made it seem like this Ticker thing was all about the lovely little countdown to the due date. "How lovely!" I think. And then I poke around on the site a little and find this reader-submitted question:

When I check my cervical fluid before having sex it usually feels slippery. Should I record "eggwhite"?

GAAAAAH! What? The? Hell???? I mean, really, is there an entire chapter of womanhood that involves the word "eggwhite"? And what are the other options this poor thing could "record"? Margarine? Shortening? Evaporated milk? I dunno, maybe I'm excited that there appears to be even more to learn about the ol' reproductive system. Or maybe I'm alarmed. But I'm probably not eager for the day I compare anything in my uterus to items on my grocery list.

2 comments:

Burst of Happiness said...

I find that doing this really increases the romance factor! Light some candles, put on some Barry White, record the cervical fluid, pour some wine, try not to get the glasses all sticky...

Sheila said...

Aaaaa! You are so funny! And, if you are really asking, the eggwhite cervical fluid is a signal that you are ovulating and if you want to get pregnant, you should have sex in the next 24-28 hours. Yeah. An excellent book is Taking Charge Of Your Fertility. More info about your wonderful reproductive system.