This afternoon I noticed my neighbor's housekeeping service at work across the street, and I popped over to ask if they'd come over and give me a quote. Housekeeping is something I have been dreaming of for months. While I truly love cleaning my sinks, scrubbing my floors and making my home spic and span all by myself (seriously), it might not surprise you to learn that deep cleaning in this house has become a thing of the past. We do OK on day-to-day maintenance, but this weekend when I used one precious hour of a Mia nap to mop the kitchen floor, I realized it hadn't been mopped since, oh, maybe when I was seven or eight months pregnant. That's just sick.
I held Chickens in my arms while I waited for them, since Mia was sleeping and I didn't want him to run to the door and bark when they arrived. A little while later, the owner of the company and his sister walked over. They came in and looked around, and then we all stood in the living room as he explained their services and pricing. Well, Mia woke up and immediately began to wail, so I put Chickens on the floor and went to her room to get her out of the swing. When I walked back into the living room, to my complete horror, I saw Chickens stumbling around in a circle around our guests, with that familiar plop, plop-plop of poops falling out of his butt.
"HE'S POOPING! HE'S POOPING!" I yelped as I lunged toward them, so startling the nice housekeeping man that he took a step backward and planted his foot right onto a piece of poop.
Which he did not notice.
"YOU'RE STEPPING IN IT!" yelled the crazy red-faced lady with the crying baby and the crapping dog. "OH GOD! YOU STEPPED IN IT!"
Dude calmly opens up the screen door, kicks off his shoe, and then continues to describe all the wonderful things they will do to make my house sparkly clean. Completely ignoring the fact that he was surrounded by a circle of poop. But I was just so embarrassed. I kept trying to explain about the spinal injury and the surgery and the paralysis and how he can't poop right because he can't go on real walks yet, and he finally stopped me and kindly explained that he has lots of animals at home, including two cats, a bird, a pit bull, and a doberman who recently had surgery to remove a corn cob from its stomach. And then he smiled and said, "You know, I have a friend from India who says that when a person takes care of an animal, they have many good things coming to them."
So, yeah, they're pretty much hired.