Well, I'm pretty sure they ALL heard me.
Yesterday I was working in the garden when I looked up and saw one crawling along the bill of my ballcap. Yeah, the one on my HEAD. Then I went to work, and one of my reporters had a spider drop down from the ceiling onto his keyboard. This morning, I shooed one out of the laundry room and into the back yard, and tonight, I discovered one in the office, and then again in the laundry room.
I also had dinner tonight with a girlfriend who told this story: She was walking beneath some trees when she ran facefirst into a spiderweb the size of the one in my front yard. It got all tangled up in her hair, a sticky, stringy mess. She picked it all off and thought the story was over, but 20 minutes later while standing in her kitchen, she felt something crawling in her sleeve. Looked down at her arm and then BOOP! Out of her sleeve crawls a fat orange spider. She believes it crawled through her hair, down through the neck of her long-sleeved shirt, and then along her entire arm before she noticed it. I went online and pulled up the picture of the marbled orbweaver (same as my front-yard visitor) and sure enough, she swears that's the exact spider she saw.
By the way? This is not an invitation to tell me your worst spider story. In fact, I told my friend she is grounded from ever telling me another story again, ever. This subject is giving me the major heebs.
Yesterday I was working in the garden when I looked up and saw one crawling along the bill of my ballcap. Yeah, the one on my HEAD. Then I went to work, and one of my reporters had a spider drop down from the ceiling onto his keyboard. This morning, I shooed one out of the laundry room and into the back yard, and tonight, I discovered one in the office, and then again in the laundry room.
I also had dinner tonight with a girlfriend who told this story: She was walking beneath some trees when she ran facefirst into a spiderweb the size of the one in my front yard. It got all tangled up in her hair, a sticky, stringy mess. She picked it all off and thought the story was over, but 20 minutes later while standing in her kitchen, she felt something crawling in her sleeve. Looked down at her arm and then BOOP! Out of her sleeve crawls a fat orange spider. She believes it crawled through her hair, down through the neck of her long-sleeved shirt, and then along her entire arm before she noticed it. I went online and pulled up the picture of the marbled orbweaver (same as my front-yard visitor) and sure enough, she swears that's the exact spider she saw.
By the way? This is not an invitation to tell me your worst spider story. In fact, I told my friend she is grounded from ever telling me another story again, ever. This subject is giving me the major heebs.
5 comments:
Who could possibly be friends with you and think that such a thing is appropriate dinnertime conversation?
Here's my story anyway, though it's not horrible:
Since my husband was out of town, I let the cats sleep with me. He's very allergic, so I didn't want to get caught. I went to brush the cat hair off the bedspread with my hand, and right before I did, I noticed it wasn't all hair. It was also a dead, smushed skinny spider that had the misfortune of wandering under my fat cat just before she plopped down.
I must reward her for this. It was, after all, on my bed and could have touched me.
Again, I suggest that you think about the spiders that go unseen... the ones in your salad bowl among the fresh spinach leaves; the ones living in your bathroom sink who wait unti nightfall to scurry around underfoot; the ones living-- RIGHT NOW-- in your closet, kichen cabinets, and under the stairs. The hidden spiders create the best Spider-Stories, if we only knew to tell them. (Insert any type of insane, evil laugh here...)
Think about the spiders and such that are living in the fruit when the wineries harvest grapes. Surely you don't think they wash tons of grapes before crushing them to make wine. And they only spray when the bugs might damage the crop - which spiders don't do. So all commercial wine has some spider content.
I suggest that you think about Spider-Man. He does whatever a spider can. Spins a web -- any size. Catches thieves just like flies ... Look out! Here comes the Spider-Man ...
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