Thursday, September 13, 2007

Shame on you, you great big meanies.

On the drive to work today, I was flipping through radio stations when I heard something that piqued my curiosity, because it sounded like a regular old commercial, but you could tell it was really just a DJ pretending. The DJ had picked up the phone to call what seemed to be this random woman. Here's how it went:

DJ: "Hi there! I'm Sue from Sue's Flower Shop, and I'm conducting a survey! And if you answer just a few questions for me about flowers, I'll give you TWO FREE TICKETS to a Raiders or 49ers game!"

Woman: "What? Really? Oh, wow ... OK!"

DJ: "OK, first question! Yes or no: Do red roses remind you of romance?"

Woman: "Uh .... yes?"

DJ: "Great! Now, second question: Would you rather have flowers delivered to you because of a special occasion, or just out of the blue because someone thinks they have fallen in love with you?"

Woman (with laughter): "Both!"

DJ: "Ha! Ha! Ha! That's fantastic! OK, you just won two free tickets to a football game! So, which team do you want to see?"

Woman: "RAIDERS, BABY!!!!"

DJ: "Oh! Ho! Ho! Sounds good! Now, what's the name of the person you'll take with you? I need to tell the people at will call who will be using the extra ticket!"

Woman: ...... "Oh ...." (giggles) "..... well ..... " (giggles again)

DJ: "What's that? Whaddaya, have some kind of secret romance or something?!?! Huh? What's going on?!"

Woman: "Well, yes ... I mean, no. Well, I mean ..... we're ... close friends."

DJ: "A-HA!"

Woman (sheepishly): "Yeah ... we met on MySpace."

DJ: "Well, lookee here! Good for you! Hey, maybe a football game will be great way to lure a man's heart! Now we're going to write a card to your new sweetie! What do you want us to write on the card?"

Woman: "Um ..... OK, how about this: 'I'll take you to the black hole ...' (giggles uncontrollably) ... and then put 'if you promise to be faithfullllllll' -- be sure you put lots of L's at the end of that. It's an inside joke!"

Next the DJ starts to say something, but all of a sudden you hear this man's voice cut in from another phone line. A very angry voice. He starts yelling "HEY! Who is this guy, huh? HUH???? Are you guys SEEING EACH OTHER?? C'mon, I wanna know!" Then he rants and raves and froths at his lunatic mouth, while the poor woman on the phone is going "What? Is there someone else there? I hear a man's voice ... what's going on???"

It's all very confusing until the woman recognizes the man's voice, and you can hear her voice actually fill with fear. Evidently angry guy was someone she knew who was trying to scam information about her new MySpace friend. The woman goes "What is going on here?!?" And the DJ starts cackling, and explains that she is a radio host from, I don't know, K-SUX maybe, and the woman shrieks "ARE WE ON THE RADIO?!?!?!" "Yes!" the DJ chirps. The woman screams "YOU GUYS SUCK!!!" and slams down the phone.

Now, I like a good prank as much as the next guy, OK? When I was little, every April Fool's Day, we always pranked each other all over the place. My two little brothers loved to TP my bedroom. My mom taught us how to put a big bucket of water on top of a door so that it would rain all over my dad when he came in. Ha, ha. Hilarious, all. But does the public humiliation of this woman -- with an assist from the psycho ex-boyfriend -- go a little too far? And I don't know, maybe this dumbass DJ didn't know she had a stalker on her hands. But don't you think you'd want to be a little bit cautious about tricking a woman into telling you about her love life while some heavy-breathing nutjob -- and, oh yeah, the rest of the Bay Area -- secretly listens in?

And in case that doesn't churn your guts around enough as it is, take a look at this. It's footage of a prank played last week, involving a scoreboard marriage proposal at a Yankees game on behalf of a guy who was NOT about to propose to his girlfriend. Gah! It's horrifying! (OK, fine. I laughed like seven times watching this video. But not at the really, REALLY mean parts.)


Robyn said...

I can always count on you to spell "pique" correctly.

Robyn said...

You mean people really put buckets of water over the door? I thought that was only in cartoons.