We're having a housewarming party Saturday, and as part of pre-party housecleaning I wanted to clean out the laundry room. Our washer and dryer are stacked in this closet-type area, and on either side of the machines are these black holes where socks fall but you can't ever reach them. So I had Sal get me one of those long pincher things, like you see prisoners picking up trash with? Looks like this:
So I plunge the thing back there to grab the one thing I dropped in the two months we have lived here: a black sock. Twenty minutes later, I have this pile of dusty new treasures:
What's that, you ask? Why, yes! YES! That IS a psycho killer doll, that appeared as if from nowhere! The doll who will no doubt climb out of the trash can tonight, crawl into my bed, and pierce my jugular with its teeny killer-doll teeth! Huh? Oh, yeah! I know! IT DOESN'T HAVE ANY ARMS! AND YES! YES, I DO SEE THE SPIDER CORPSE CLINGING TO ITS ARM STUMP!
So I plunge the thing back there to grab the one thing I dropped in the two months we have lived here: a black sock. Twenty minutes later, I have this pile of dusty new treasures:
What's that, you ask? Why, yes! YES! That IS a psycho killer doll, that appeared as if from nowhere! The doll who will no doubt climb out of the trash can tonight, crawl into my bed, and pierce my jugular with its teeny killer-doll teeth! Huh? Oh, yeah! I know! IT DOESN'T HAVE ANY ARMS! AND YES! YES, I DO SEE THE SPIDER CORPSE CLINGING TO ITS ARM STUMP!
1 comment:
Oh no! Are you still alive? Even if that doll had no feet, it could still crawl from the can and kill people. You're absolutely right. And don't bother putting a lid on the can with a brick on top and walking away smugly brushing your hands off. Nope, it'll still escape and kill you. I'm sorry, but there's no happy ending for this story. I've seen this movie too many times. Your only chance is to try to appease it -- try to see what it wants and make it happy. Good luck.
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